Saturday, March 10, 2012

NEVER SURRENDER - NEVER SAY DIE !!!


When the Devas went to Bhagwan Shankar for Samudra Manthan every one knew that Vish would come out first and then the Amrit. This also meant that the good thing would certainly happen once the worse is over.

My inspiration for finding solutions by traveling to the bottom of the problems started with this belief or the manthan.

It is so true, “mountains give way to only those, who have either art of crossing them or courage of breaking them.”

Ever seen a bird flying !!!  It swings left and right, as per the flow of wind, to float across the sky. But just notice when it has to scale height, it would always look for reverse wind, why ? The bird knows, if you have to rise in life, the only way is to face tough situations from the front. 

Experience is nothing but the amalgamation of tough phases that you experience in life.

We generally suffer from negative thinking.  More then the success, our fear is of the failure. Failure in exams, meeting targets, assignments, deadlines, relationships, etc. etc. We shy away from taking strong decisions just for the fear of failure and feel glorified by exaggerating our fears.
A fool said, the more you work, the more you are likely to commit mistake, and the more you are criticized.  The less you work, the less you are likely to commit mistake, the more you are appreciated. So why work.  This fool never worked and life never worked for him.

The pressure of work and meeting targets does create tension.  But you also loose energy and focus by getting into this situation. The burden of tension is like cotton.  Till you do not acknowledge it undue, it weighs nothing.  But the time you start recognizing it by giving undue importance, you actually start increasing the weight of cotton by nourishing it. It is like watering the cotton - you increase the burden. As its existence increases, it now consumes most of your time and energy.  Think logically and rationally. The issue may not be so stressful and it may be wise to look for solutions and not sympathy.

Once you adopt the solution mode, the water in the cotton would dry and you would not even know when this dry cotton would fly away, leaving you tension free and much better focused.

Every problem has a solution, you only need to go to the bottom of the problem.  Analyze, what the problem is? From where it got generated ? Were you responsible for it ? Is there a solution ? If yes, what are you waiting for ? And if there is not, look for contingency plans, the other way out. 

Remember if you cannot correct it, you can always amend it.

Another area that we suffer is shying away from our mistakes or guilt.  We believe, if we can hide our mistakes or guilt, it would never surface.  It may not surface to others, but what about your own self.  The symptoms start surfacing in your body language and slowly demoralize you emotionally.  It is only advisable to share it rather then hide it with some one you are convinced you trust the most.  Who knows, the density of mistake or guilt may not be of such magnitude as you may be thinking all along. May be you are not the first and certainly not the last one to commit such mistake. After all, the life has to move on.

I remember a boy who was always smiling.  But suddenly his smile despaired.  He would sit quietly in a corner and not speak to anyone.  His behaviour was no more normal. Slowly he started loosing weight and any one could guess that some thing serious was bothering him.

With some courage I asked him about the matter.  But he would not open. Though I was not a stranger but still he needed much more trust to share his issue.  After a lot of persuasion and promises, he opened. He had stolen the watch of his brother and sold it to buy a video game. I was stunned. But why this guilt now ? His brother had to appear for 12th class board examination and he needed a watch to check the time. He had noticed the necessity for a watch in his brother’s eyes and how much desperate the need was.  He felt ashamed of what he had done. But the mistake had happened.

He did not know what to do. The guilt was now showing its impact.

To me, only solution that I could see was confession of the guilt.  “Go and tell your brother everything and apologize for what you have done”, I said. It was difficult for him, but he agreed and finally confessed.

I have always had this strong belief that confession is the simplest way towards coming out of guilt. Confession has the strength of truth and thus it always brings satisfaction and contentment. It releases the negative energy that has been so far keeping you suppressed.

Accept, you may be wrong some time, and the life would be simpler.

Next day, he came to me. I could sense what would have happened, his smile said it all.  He confessed to his brother, who did give him a light slap but also hugged him.  Slap for hiding this mistake for so long as he was worried where the watch had disappeared. A hug of a brother, that pardoned the mistake and asked him not to be bothered now.

I came to know from his friends that he had stopped spending his pocket money for want of presenting a watch to his brother.

It is also true that everyone passes through tough phases in life. We should never confront the very basic nature of life.  Every one has to pass through this phase, as this is how the life has chosen to teach its disciples.

The best way to handle this phase of life is let it pass.  You can confront the strong winds but not the storms. The more you resist, the more you increase the length of this phase. The storm is destined to pass, that’s the nature. Again you cannot challenge or fight the nature, no one ever could. Rather bend down, accept, and let it pass in its normal course of period.  You would realize that this phase crossed much easier and faster and also without creating much damage.

Life teaches through experience. This is how the life is destined to live.

History has it; no one learned swimming by watching swimmers, you actually need to be in deep waters, to learn.

The life is to live, to live with dignity and pride.

Never surrender, Never say die. 

Thursday, February 9, 2012

THE CHILD IN ME REFUSES TO DIE

I still like watching cartoon movies and would probably laugh like a child when Jerry beats Tom.  I still admire the black & white movies of `Charlie Chaplain’. I do aspire to watch movies lying on the sofa.  I still fight for the remote control with my children.  I still like playing games on the computer.  I still like the moon and try counting the stars in the sky…

The child in me refuses to die.

Why do I kill the child within me when it makes me feel comfortable and gives me a sense of my own self?  There is a comfort level that I enjoy being a child when I am alone.  There are times that I don’t want to get into the intricacies of being mature.

My school in Delhi was very near to my house.  Whenever I passed through my school, mere aura of the school building always excited me and reminded me of my school days. Every things from bunking classes to watching cricket matches to eating lunch of my friends to emoting teachers when she pretended to be outsmarting us; every thing as if  comes to real.

Those small tiny little incidents are as fresh as morning sunlight.  They might look so different from today but they always carried an exceptional sentimental and emotional value during those days.

One day I decided to take my daughter to my school.  We chose a Saturday.  She smiled as I entered into the school building, like an obedient student. I suddenly found myself explaining her each and every thing, right from canteen to recreation room to music room, to doctor’s room and the most important the Principal’s room. Suddenly my voice went low while passing through the Principal’s room. Even today, there is a scare while passing through that door.

Once I entered the school, I was searching for my last class and was trying to find my chair and my desk, as if nothing would have changed in so many years.

How wonderful those days were..

My daughter wanted to meet some of my teachers.  I could fortunately find some old teachers and with a little bit of recall on some incidents, they could recollect me. I could notice some droplets of tears, as there was some one who had come to meet them after so many years.  We often forget our teachers, who were actually responsible for what we are today.  We tend to forget the past when we see our future being pleasant.

I touched their feet like an obedient student and asked for their blessings.

My daughter kept listening to our entire conversation.  She did not question me, probably; the past had some incidents which reminded her of her present.

Everyone has a child living in you but we only try discarding it for being mature and responsible.  The mind does relate to the present but the heart still enjoys the memories of the past.

The child in you makes you an honest person, who is emotional, gets worried, afraid of deceiving anyone, talking wrong, scared of god and still gives you a space to enjoy life in this busy mechanical world.  Actually, the child in you makes you feel lighter and also softer. The child in you makes it easy to relate to your own self.  The child like excitement of doing things with utmost effort and perfection still makes you feel good and satisfied.

Ever noticed yourself giving examples of your own or your grownup brother or sister to your children while explaining certain things or about how similar tasks were carried out?  We very conveniently relate our past with the present of our children.  This happens when our children repeat or do exactly the same thing that we did in our childhood.  These small acts make you travel to your childhood.

I still play indoor games with my children and the fight is to the finish.  In the games, there is no father children relation, its opponent that’s it.

The child like nature of mine has made communication with my children easy.  Getting involved with them relaxes me and makes me extremely happy.

Office has its own compulsions.  One uses brain more than the heart. You talk about the policies, strategies, egos, action plans, targets etc. There are meetings and business plans. You actually keep your heart at home and come to office.  You suddenly grow up once you enter your office building.

I believe the life is like a round circle. A child is borne, grows up, becomes an adult, then an age of responsibility and finally the old age, which brings back the circle where it started. Perhaps it is the time to go back to the child age.  Perhaps it is the time for rebirth.

In office, some times you are reminded of your child like nature. Perhaps some people are ignorant of the facts of office responsibilities the person performs or perhaps they are ignorant of facts what happiness one gets of being a child sometimes.

There are some who have grown over their age; perhaps they never realize they were a child once.

But, here I am proud to keep the memories of my childhood and the child in me refuses to die.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

PERSONALITY DOMINANCE


Spare a moment for your own self and think. Most of our time, energy, mind & heart goes in thinking what people think about us. Adjusting with the thought process of people.  We tend to do what they want or like us to do.  Dependency of our thoughts on such people makes us emotionally dependent on them. 

We the `puppets’ and they the ‘puppeteers’.

I was travelling from New Delhi to Bangalore in Karnataka Express.  The journey involved two nights in the train.  Bangalore is also famous for engineering colleges. I saw a group of five-six students preparing for an interview for the Bangalore Engineering College.  The students were pulling legs, nothing new, of one of their friend, who happened to be a little extra tall. `Listen you do not stand straight, bend little bit in the interview, otherwise the jury members won’t be able to look into your eyes’, said one of the student.  After a while, this boy got so bugged that he got up and went towards the gate of the boggy.  All the friends enjoyed his irritation.

When you have no work, you have time to advice.  I could not resist and went looking for this boy.  Initially I was unable to find him.  Of course I even peeped outside door of the boggy for the unexpected.  Suddenly, I could see this boy standing in front of the washbasin mirror and judging his height. Indeed this boy had taken the comments of his friends quite seriously.  He accepted what they said and that was the reason he was abiding by their thoughts. We generally do this !!!

Not having confidence in our own-self, we end up taking a whole lot of advice from people.  Some are constructive some are not. Why do we do this ?

I could not resist myself and initiated a casual conversation with him. I asked him `I want to jump out of the door of this fast moving train, can you accompany me?’.  He looked at me with disgusting eyes, as if I had lost my mind.  I asked him another thing, `I want to stand upside down but I want you to accompany me?’ His looks conveyed me everything what he thought of me.  I finally concluded, `if your friends have a problem, it is their problem, not yours, so be cool and happy about what god has gifted you’. I think, he understood what I meant.

There is another incident.  I remember a girl who worked with me.  She would always do what her boss said, who was happened to be a female.  Good or bad, she would never give herself any other option but to concede to the boss’s orders. Any one could notice the much evident change of expressions on her face, which were of course completely dependent on her boss mood.  I had never seen her having lunch when her boss either skipped or had a fast.

This change of temperament and personality as per the change in your boss or some one you care about most is called “PERSONALITY DOMINANCE”.

When in PERSONALITY DOMINANCE you tend to behave exactly like the influencer. On one hand the person who brought you under his personality dominance enjoys unconditional and devotional stature; on the other hand your entire personality gets trapped in the web of his fluctuating personality.

You may describe this as nothing but a true guru and shishya parampara.

One day this female disciple came late and the boss was fuming at the top of her voice and gave her a piece of her actual mind.  Reason, this young lady, to her utter honesty, carried the keys of the drawer of her boss’s table, which the boss had left open the day before.  The young lady was scolded so badly that forget about the guru dakshina, she lost all the respect for her, the very same moment.  This time the boss was wrong, and it was proved beyond doubt.

She narrated the incident and confronted, `how can she scold me when she herself comes late every day.  I locked the drawer and carried the keys so that her things remain intact.  What the hell she thinks of herself.  She is nothing if I leave her.  I have done everything for her’. I could feel, the hurt was immense. She went on and on.  Finally she announced, she wanted to leave the job.   She submitted her resignation to her boss.  The boss did not react; perhaps she had concluded that it was an opportunity to hire a fresh talent.  The entire guru and shishya parampara had collapsed. 

PERSONALITY DOMINANCE actually kills thinking ability.  It kills your innersole and self-respect.  You actually end up messing-up your own life with such people.

PERSONALITY DOMINANCE - how do you get rid of such emotional dominance? 

Think of the state of your mind.  You have this one person, who is a god to you. Your mentor, your only friend and your soul mate.  You do what this person desires you to do. You are actually emotionally trapped.

A personality dominates your emotions, which prominently includes your mind, and palpitates your heart.

Let us understand this with the size of your brain.  Let us presume your brain has 100 chambers.  When your entire concentration is on ONE person, you are actually left with not many options and you tend to get fully exposed to this person.

To get out of this dominance, divert your mind and interact with another similar person.  Now you have TWO persons and your interaction starts getting divided.  As you start sharing your thoughts with this new person, you actually start hiding thoughts with the first person.  As the time moves, this new person who occupied just a little space now starts increasing its presence in your mind.  Let us presume at one time he occupies about 50% space.  The ratio now is 50:50.  Also meaning that at any given point of time, none of these two people know more than 50% of your inner-self.  Important is to know that you now are exposed 100% to none.   

Gradually, as now you do not have much pressure from either of them, and you have regained your self-confidence, you would not find conversing with people in general. Lets us bring a THIRD person into conversation with you now. Your entire conversation now stands divided into three individuals – at one time 100% exposure now stands just 33%.  It also means that any given point of time there would 66% information safe and confided in you.  Isn’t this amazing?

Now, do you remember the FIRST person who dominated you?  The PERSONALITY DOMINANCE of this person would have vanished by now.

It is often seen that people who have many acquaintances are quite deep in their mind and heart.  It is not easy to understand them.  You can call them introvert though they may be extrovert. 

PERSONALITY DOMINANCE does not apply on two individuals who are close friends, who take up the cause together and grow together.  These friends are rare species and very difficult to find, but do exist.  Two people eating together or for that matter sleeping together may not be friends, may be just acquaintances.

True friends are like two-way communication, where there is no dominance, and no personality egos.  If they are true friends, then they do not come under the category of PERSONALITY DOMINANCE.

If they do, they are not true-friends.. !!!!!

(From the extracts of book `Me Within Myself’ )

Sunday, January 29, 2012

SYCOPHANCY IS AN ART – A TOOL


It is the most admired, tested and the exceptionally successful art, rated on any scale, the `sycophancy’.  A very calculated communication art when clubbed with the much coveted art of body language, it results in wonders. The beauty of this art is that the person on whom it is applied knows quite well but still s/he admires and relishes it.

The roots of this art go back to ancient history. No wonder it is the most ancient art in any history and persists and survives today, with addition of skills and intelligence – Sycophancy is an Art – a Tool.

A sycophant is a very intelligent person.  His grasping power is very high and his ability to read and understand a person’s mind is just tremendous.  A sycophant actually governs and controls the mind of the target.

A sycophant is a smart manipulator who knows that he is manipulating an individual to fulfill his interests and dreams and that his/her deeds would never give him an equal status in the eyes of this individual.  A sycophant is a master of opportunists and has NO EGO problem.

What do I tell you, his qualities are endless.

I remember a student in my school days who was the most loved and most admired student of us all.  You can imagine the hurt when a teacher appreciated one single student.  I was always astonished the way our class teacher used to appreciate his activities, his honesty, worthiness, sincerity and intelligence.  As if we all were just dump in front of him.  No matter what we did, the excellent grade was as if reserved only for him.

That was the first time I experienced the irresistible impact of this beautiful skill – the sycophancy. 

It pains still to remember as how this teacher blessed him with all the smiles and just hated our faces, no matter how many flowers we carried for her on the valentine days.

Don’t get lost, this art is quite popular in offices also.  Little, well timed and beautifully worded flattering kind of appreciation from the subordinates – which boss doesn’t like it...

I remember an officer who constantly kept tract about what the boss liked and what were his dislikes.  To please the boss, he would change his like and dislikes in split of a second.

There is an old story, when one day a king asked his mantri, `which vegetable dish he hated the most’ and up came the reply, `my lord it is Baigan Ka Bharta.  The king immediately replied, `but I like it the most’. Mantri was never far, he immediately added, `oh my lord, may be my wife does not know how to cook.  If prepared nicely like in the palace this would have been my favourite dish too.’

Whatever you call these sycophants, these people are the most successful people in the present scenario.  But, it is not easy to become a sycophant.  You have to possess certain unique qualities, some in-borne and some long practiced ones.  You must be soft spoken, should know when your boss smiles, when he drinks tea or only coffee, what time he comes and leaves, should never leave before the boss departs, irrespective of whether he believes in all festivals or not, greet him on all occasions and finally, if he/she has a pet, must accept it is the most charming one.

You have to make him believe that you are the only and the most devoted one, sincere, faithful and confident admirer of his.

Regular practice of some sober and loud body gestures will make you a good sycophant.  But the proficiency would come through experience.

Now tell me, with such hard work, why crib if some individuals get paid those extraaaaa dividends.

After all they have worked so hard and vigorously to attain such status !!!!!

One thing that is precarious in this art is the immaturity.  If this art is not enacted to the perfection, the matter becomes worse.  On the face, no one would like to be put in the category of sycophant as entertainer.

The immature handling of this art would definitely degrade the person to such an extent that he would loose his entire faith and respect in people’s eyes.  The genuine appreciation by this person for anyone would only carry tonnes of denotation and most of them would be negative.

Unlike any other form of art, the art of sycophancy runs on a very thin line.  If not applied through right techniques, it can result in unwanted circumstances. 

And if applied with perfect skills and maturity, it can make you the golden boy of all times !!!!

Remember, there are many art forms, some need to be learned and some need to be only admired.. may be through a considerable distance...

(From the extracts of book `Me Within Myself’ )

Saturday, January 28, 2012

SHIFTING OF ZEROS

IT was an unusual day in the office.  By the evening the entire office had collected in the main hall to bid farewell to the departing Managing Director of the company, Mr. Chatterjee.  The officials had brought bouquets, gifts - ranging from wall clock to bronze Ganeshas, to present their gratitude towards him.  It looked a very quite tearful farewell party.  My heart sank too.  Mr. Chatterjee was leaving the organization after about 4 years of service as Managing Director of the company for a prestigious international assignment.

Suddenly my eyes stopped.  I saw my collogue, Mr. Damodhar, searching for an opportunity to touch the feets of Mr. Chatterjee.  As soon as he got the golden opportunity, like a devoted disciple, he completely bent his body and touched his feet.


Mr. Damodhar was crying inconsolably.  Mr. Chatterjee had no option but to lift him up and hug him.  What a union of two intimate souls !!!! But…. is Mr. Damodhar not the same person who gave a similar performance in front of earlier Managing Director, Mr. Sharma.  His dedication had the same depth and loyalty.  Yes, definitely, he is indeed the same Mr. Damodhar...

You name them what ever, but I call these people as SHIFTING ZEROS.  People who have no self respect, no self belief, who are opportunists, who are pretenders and who are real sycophants.  In nut-shell, people who are hypocrites.  To be more harsh, a breed of total opportunists people… the ZEROS..

This happens in almost all fields.  It be government offices, PSUs, private sector, schools, colleges or politics; nothing has escaped this net.  But what often comes in news is only the “Political Zeros”.
 
Let us try to understand these Zeros or shifting of Zeros..

The Zeros are Zeros and have no value of their own.  The ultimate round figure, which revolves around the sun i.e. their boss.  Their identity develops at the time they get attached to “ONE - 1” the “LEADER”.  When these Zeros are on the right side they enhance the value of “1”, i.e. the Leader – 1-00000.  The Leader enjoys the enhanced support and newly found status, the power, which is because of the `right’ support of these `Zeros’, who are like followers. 

The more the Zeros the more powerful is the Leader.

The problem occurs when these non-valued, non-performers, non-vibrant, non-committed, non-sincere, non-dedicated big Zeros shift their stand from `Right’ to `Left’.  They now not only completely demolish their own identity, of being exposed, but also try devalue the Leader.  The Leader again comes back to single status `1’.

One thing that does not change is the real value of the Leader, `1’, the individual value.  The Leader is still present and you cannot ignore and further devalue `1’.

The time passes.  The Zeros, quite known for their habit shift again, making a Leader powerful again.  The history repeats.

This reminds me of one incident.  I have seen many people sitting in the canteen pledging their loyalties to their bosses.  Each one has a reason to justify and believe in other.  One day one such boss simply issued a circular asking these Zeros to come on time.  One simple 4 line circular was enough to change the loyalties of these Zeros.  They did see the alarm clock in the office clicking 9.30 AM not before their loyalties shifting drastically.  The most admired boss became the most hated one.

But as you say, some one’s loss is some one’s gain.. The loyalties of these Zeros shifted to the boss of this boss and he became a new Leader, only as he himself never issued this circular.

You would quite see this in academic institutions as well. The professors lobbying with the students to bring down another professor or increase their popularity TRP.  Once the professor refuses to give some quality time to these students, their stand shifts to another professor.

The points is, can we deal with these Zeros ?  Can we actually pin them down ?  The reply is NO.  Their roots are too deep, I am mean till top.  You can only touch the branches and by just cutting the branches you actually conclude nothing.

The only way probably to control these Zeros is to divide them with their own numbers.  You may get a single Zero.  But my only worry is that in the entire process we may not end up creating a Leader out of these Zeros.

The irony of the matter is that “1” – the Leader needs Zeros more than the Zeros need `1’ – the Leader. 

There seems to be no end.....

(From the extracts of book `Me Within Myself’ )

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

THE POWER OF SUB-CONSCIOUS MIND

Ever seen people sitting and rotating their pen on the table or girls brushing their hair with their hand after every 30 seconds ?  Or some people playing with paper-weight or just staring at nothing in oblivion or lifting their trousers every minute as if its going to fall ? There are few who use certain words after and before every sentence !!!!!! 

Unusual, ask them and they have a simple answer, `I do not do it deliberately, it just happens.’  Well, what an escape route !!  Honestly, they are not wrong, it actually happens without any effort. 

This is where you first notice the POWER OF SUB-CONSCIOUS MIND.


The mind stores a considerable amount of information or you can call it data and then plays it again and again without bothering you and without asserting you.  Try doing all these things deliberately, consciously, you may not achieve the desired success.

You do many things near perfection, not acknowledging that how much effort would be required if you did the same things consciously.

Another example is when you driving vehicle to your office and vice versa. The vehicle keeps moving, on every turn the vehicle slows down, without giving slightest strain to your brain and without reminding you the route.  Why is it so? The route you travel daily gets stored in your sub-conscious mind and you do not need to refer it, it works as much naturally.

But it is also true that there are certain amendments of similar nature which are also difficult for the mind to handle instantly.  You shift your table in the office and the next morning you land up at your old place.. How is that !! 

Let us understand the POWER OF SUB-CONSCIOUS MIND.

Consciously you do many things which are also acknowledged and get noticed by sub-conscious mind.  Gradually, as you keep repeating them, the sub-conscious mind stores such activities to be activated at the respective time. That’s where the sub-conscious mind does not need any command to activate such activities.


Remember last time you murmured few lines of a beautiful song, but today you find it difficult to remember the opening lines. This also means that sub-conscious mind does need to perform the activities at regular intervals to keep it alive.

The sub-conscious mind stores both, negative and positive, information.  That is the reason that sometimes you are appreciated and some times you even get embarrassed.

The natural question comes now is `How to use the power of sub-conscious mind to improve upon our own personality ?’.

To understand this, let us divide our habits into two parts, the positives and the negatives.  The negative part donates the habits that you wish to change as these are responsible for your negative image.  For example, you tend to speak few words or phrases which in general become subject of embarrassment.   This happens only because you kept repeating yourself and the sub-conscious mind, true to its character, kept it alive.

The positive part are the good gestures and deeds that you do, including greeting people, using kind words combined with presentable body language. This positive side is as stronger and the sub-conscious mind keeps storing such information equally.

Thus, if you need to change for a change, then awake your conscious mind and do the things deliberately or consciously. Consciously stop doing things that you wish to change.  The whole effort is to decrease the potency of negative energy in the sub-conscious mind and push it back.

A brain has limited chambers and by the time you grow, all are over-occupied.  That is the reason you would notice a child learns much quicker than an adult.

The formula for the brain is simple, the weakest goes out and the stronger remains.  By stopping the negative energy entering into the sub-conscious mind you actually decrease the potency or strength of such negative thoughts and push it back.  Once such thoughts are pushed back, it gives you space to enter new thoughts i.e. positive energy.

You won’t even remember when your negative thoughts just left your sub-conscious mind and in turn positive energy occupied the vacated space.

Check the icons on your desk-top, it sometimes indicates a number of programs that you have not used for long and asks your permission to delete them.  You do sometimes. Brain is no different.

The transformation is a conscious effort though it is necessary to finally position it strongly through the sub-conscious mind.

(From the extracts of book `Me Within Myself’ )

Monday, January 23, 2012

SUNDAY CURRY


It was Friday, the last working day, and whole of the energy enthusiasm had given way for a relaxed and peaceful holiday. 

Me and my boss were working late in the office.  Just as I thought the work was over and was about to leave, his heavy voice asked me of my plans for Sunday.  I was quite.  He presumed I was free.  Before I could find some reasons, he asked me to visit his house on Sunday.  I had no choice but to agree.  Must be some thing important, I thought so.

My boss was a man of few words and I could feel that if was asking so, there must be some thing only important and meaningful.  In my dreams, I could only see me conversing with my boss.

On Sunday, I reached his house well on time.  He himself brought me a glass of water.  I asked him politely if no one was there in the house.  He too replied very politely that every one was there and watching TV and if I wanted to meet them.

This was the first time I was seeing my boss in casual dress, a cream colour short and a blue t-shirt. He was looking quite different from his office attire.  Quite relaxed, he was a different man.  I was wondering he was upto something and my coming brought a break in his activity.  Before I could ask him anything, he asked me to follow him.  Passing through the `verandah’ we entered into his kitchen.  Kitchen – full of vegetables and all designer instruments to dress-up and un-dress the vegetables.

Sir, are you cooking something ? I asked hesitantly. He smiled, yes, and I do it every Sunday.  I asked again, Why Sir, don’t you have your wife to cook food or a servant for this work ?.  My wife and servant, both are watching TV with rest of the family, he replied while cutting vegetables.  They all are here in the house, but today there entry in the kitchen is banned, Sunday is my day, he continued.

I was surprised to see this behaviour of my boss.  He was clearing the vegetables must quicker then the files.

I asked him again, `sir, but why are you cooking? It is not the ladies job or job of a `maharaj’.   While cutting vegetables, he started replied, whole week, day & night, we just work.  We have so much of official burden and pressure that makes all of us too monotonous and the mind goes for a six.  We meet so many people of so much of different nature & behaviour, deal with so much variety of views & issues that by the time we reach the last working day of the week, our mind is only hoping for a relaxed day to unwind the fully winded-up mind. If you notice the last working day, the issues start dragging and freshness of the mind is almost lost.

This is where the mind needs a break. Break from the monotonous routine official schedules.  Break from the meetings and disposal of files.  Break from all officials procedures, he continued.

I asked him again, Sir, why don’t you go for a movie or to the club or just to meet your relatives or probably watch TV programmes of your interest. They may relax your mind. To which he replied, these entire things are kept for Saturday, but not for Sunday.  Sunday is my day for the SUNDAY CURRY.  Nothing relaxes me more than my Sunday Curry.

He could see that I had a lot of queries in my mind and that actually I was waiting for the exact reason for the `Sunday Curry’.  Even though I tried, I could not hide anxiety on my face, after all I have been working with him day and night.

Sensing my queries, he explained, look, the mind needs to do something different from the routine work to get relaxed. We watch TV regularly but watching movies I do not like.  We meet relatives once in a month or probably two months.  What is creative and constructive about all this ?

I realized, he was only right, and certainly not that much wrong.

It is not that I am preparing lunch for my family, actually it is my way of unwinding myself and while doing so I am also being constructive.  This entire activity relaxes my mind, heart and soul, he smiled.  I am breaking my routine by doing something which is entirely different and unexpected out of me.  Right from bringing vegetables from the market to washing them, cutting and then cooking, putting all `masalas’, everything is done by me.  I apply my creative thoughts in every aspect.

I asked him again, but sir, how do you unwind yourself by doing this ?

He replied, whenever you do something which is already been done by someone else, you try to do it differently.  This is human psychology. You add your input to give it a cutting edge.  You try all kinds of experiments and apply all tricks of the trade.


Pointing to vegetables he spoke like a philosopher, we eat almost a similar kind of food every day, they are also cut in the similar pattern and also cooked in a similar manner.  The taste of salt, chilly and other `masalas’ would also be almost same.

Here is one day in a week, Sunday, I engage myself in this absolutely different kind of activity.  Right from A to Z everything is done differently and I bring this difference deliberately.  The entire process makes me do a whole lot of creative cooking, which I enjoy immensely and the satisfaction of having food cooked by me, with my entire family, makes me feel even happier.

My entire mind is distracted from my office routine work, which totally relieves me from official pressure, he continued.

I could see very rare smiling face and a feeling of pride while he narrated the process. 

Look, washing vegetables is like looking at different issues.  Cutting vegetables is like dealing with different kind of problems. Cooking vegetables is like finding solutions.  And finally, serving food is like disposal of files.


I immediately asked him, but what about making `chapattis’ and having food? He could not stop laughing, well, I could never make round `chapattis’ – meaning I can never make every one happy.  And for having food together means – `kaam khatam’

But what about the reaction of your family members, do they like food prepared by you ?,  I asked.  I am now a trained cook and whatever I prepare, they enjoy thoroughly.  Everyone is happy because my wife gets a break from the kitchen at least for one day in a week, he replied.

Before I could react his wife entered into the kitchen and asked, how much time for the lunch Mr. Cook? and prompt came the reply, another 20 minutes madam. 

To my utter surprise, he got on to the job like an obedient cook.  I was also given a knife in my hand and was asked to cut the salad quickly and up came the boss voice, `do it differently’.

I found myself engrossed in the kitchen with him and enjoying the experience. 

The food was ready in 20 minutes and we both served to one and all.  No doubt the food was good.

I could understand now why my boss had called me on a Sunday.  Perhaps he could understand the pressure on my head and also that I needed to relieve this pressure to further enhance my efficiency.

Since then, every Sunday, I too have given my wife a holiday from the kitchen.  I have slowly learnt to prepare vegetables.  I too do think about the official problems and their solutions. The time the solutions seem appearing, the speed of my knife increases.  My family was initially surprised to find me in the kitchen, but they are happy to find a change in me.

The only thing I cannot understand is, how the vegetables I prepare ultimately turn out to be a `mixed vegetable curry’.

Perhaps, there are too many things in my mind.

(From the extracts of book `Me Within Myself’ - The incident referred is of the year 1990s)